I feel alive again .....

I have been meaning to write for a long time now but I have always drawn a blank ... Its like my hands want to write but my mind does not budge.

I spoke about my childhood and memories of growing up - with someone recently - All I remember feeling from that conversation was - I was a bird soaring high. But I still could not write....... It was like there was this veil of cloud over my thoughts that were struggling to escape - the fight to break free started that day .....

A chance encounter today with a magnificent tree whose leaves were splayed in full glory at her footsteps - in a maze of colors honey, brown and green - touched a chord somewhere deep in me. The colors reminded me of a time back in childhood when everything was simpler ......... and the veil lifted finally - after a year

Tirunelveli -where I first learnt to appreciate life in all its simplicity - was a revelation and it shaped me and my sis to love people as they come into our lives

My earliest memory of Tirunelveli is checking into "Blue Star Hotel" where we were put up until dad got the stay arrangements finalized from the bank. I don't know if this hotel still exists - I would love to go see just it once.My dad, sis and I were suffering from Chicken Pox and I remember Mom keeping us all sane at that time what with all the mutual scratching we decided to gift one another in turns :)

MY HOUSE
No. 11,
Sivendipatty Road
Maharajanagar, Near Blind School
Tirunelveli, Tamilnadu

I wish to go back and see the house at the address above - where I grew up amidst the white and violet shoe flowers and tall wild grass in the front yard. I remember there being this cemented basement facility - where we had to climb down stairs and fill water in buckets and climb up. During rains - this would be filled to the brim with rain water. Thinking back - it was such an impractical construction. But I remember having made paper boats with my sister and parents and making them sail in our front yard in the muddy water.

I remember the bath area was outside the house and there was - what Sandy and I called - our own private magical forest with wild flowers, garden snakes, green moss along the edges of the backyard, view of the long railway track, sound of the train whistle. Sometimes Sandy and I would pretend we were the masters of the forest :)

MY NEIGHBOURS

I remember our house being opposite to Arthur Uncle's house who was an advocate. Next to his house was Mr. Swaran Singh, who was the IAS collector of that district. On the same lane as ours - was Avudiappan uncle who I hear is a big name in politics today. His was the last house of the lane. If I am not wrong - I think my dad drove himself and Avudiappan uncle into the ditch when he first started learning to ride the two wheeler :)

MY SCHOOL

Dad says that the first day - he took us to school walking - we kept stalling and were picking wild flowers from the road and filling our tiny pockets with them. He would call out Come Sowmya / Come Sandhya - and we would reply in baby shrill tones - Coming Daddy. He loves recounting this to date .........

I have dreamt of this school where I studied Std I to Std IV - several times. In my dreams - I remember being drawn by some invisible force till the huge gates. I remember the vast muddy expanse of land in front of the gates and stopping right at the entrance. I have always felt she is calling me, asking me to come visit. SJSSJS - Shree Jeyandra Saraswati Swamigal Silver Jubilee School - that's the school I studied for 4 glorious years.

I want to see if the fence through which I used to escape out of the school campus at lunch times with my sis and girl friends - remains in some recognizable fashion or has it fallen victim to the new times and conventions. I remember dragging Sandy's tiny hands and running with Ranjani and her sister Ragini to their place which was the closest. We would unpack our home made lunches there and Ranjani's mom would always make us fresh curd rice. Then we would huff and puff and run back to school in time for the classes after lunch.

I want to see if the classrooms and the staff rooms look and feel the same. I remember the hot breeze in summers that would make the huge trees sway and cast an enormously huge shade. I remember eating few lunches under this shade. I made my first set of best friends here - Arundathi and Ranjani. I am in touch with Ranjani. Have never been able to locate Arundathi though and I have not stopped looking.

I want to see if the assembly podium still stands in its semi circular pattern with steps leading up. I want to see if the flag pole stands in the corner there with the waving flag.

I am keeping my mind open to the definite possibility of there being a radical change in the entire vision I have in my head of this beautiful simple place. I am sure I will be saddened at having come too late. But visit her I will .... soon .... and it will be one of the highlights of my life. I hope, despite all these visual changes - the essence of the place remains as I remember it - warm and welcoming

Wait for me Tirunelveli. Falling in love all over again and its a beautiful and magical feeling...............

The Swim

I was born in Bangalore and exported to Bombay :) and came to Tirunelveli to begin Standard I.

One of the simplest, down to earth and the loveliest places I have ever stayed in - Tirunelveli. The people were very very helpful and kind. It is a small town in Tamil Nadu. The local language was Tamil. My sister and I would only speak in English and never learnt Tamil(incidentally our mother tongue) till a year later. Everyone thought my parents were North Indians as they were fair skinned until they started to speak Tamil.

We stayed in Maharajanagar, a small locality. There were two rows of houses separated by a road between. During rains, my front yard would get flooded and we would float paper boats. Those were fun times - muddy water, the smell of wet earth just before the rains, school holidays and the skies.

I have never seen the skies having so many shades of blue and gray. It was like looking through a smoky glass. I spent 4 years here - I Std to IV Std.

There were lots of kids to play and we were a boisterous bunch. Boys would join us in the cooking game and we would join them in the exploring. There was a railway track which I could see from my backyard which had wild plants growing but none harmful. We could enter my house from the front door also and the back door too.

The normal day began with the train whistling past and it was a sign that all was well.

Beyond our two row of houses were vacant plots. The area was not developed and it gave us kids ample space to roll in the muddy brown plots and come back. There were no Surf and Aerial ads then. I am sure our clothes would have given them a run for their money.

It had been raining incessantly for a week now and we were all restless having been cooped inside. When the rains ceased, we were out before you could say the word "Abracadabra". We found a pond that had formed in the "Restricted Area" and we decided to there at 5pm. I still remember what I wore. Funny how some things stick in our memory and others don't.

It was a white satin frock with short sleeves and pink and lavender flowers all over. It was made from the "Garden" material which never looks worn out. One can wear it for years and it still would like reasonably new. It also had a white belt with lavender tips.

The pond was big. It looked like the sea to my eyes. I didn't know swimming and neither did my sister. All of us held hands and started wading inside from one end of the assembly line . White frock could go to hell ha ha ha ha. We were about 9 of us. Five boys and 4 girls. I was the third from one end and my sister was in the other end holding the hand of a bigger guy.

It was scary. My heart was beating but there was an adrenaline rush and excitement at doing something taboo. The first guy and girl entered and then I did. In a minute all of us were in the pond. The water came up below my knee. The water was not very muddy and we could see little fish swimming around.

My end of the line decided to move one step inside. But they did not communicate correctly or I did not decipher correctly and I moved in too fast and slipped on something slimy. I went under water and thought I was going to die when I realized all I had done was wet myself head to toe as the water was not that deep.

All of us got scared then. The evening sun had gone out and it was getting cool. I started shivering. All of us receded back. The other end which included my sister had escaped without getting wet. Being a plotter, I told my sister and friends how I could avoid getting beatings from mom.

I told my relatively dry friends and sister to go via the front door and keep my mom busy by talking to her. I then asked my sister to get me a fresh frock and come to the back door. The bathroom was outside the house. I thought I will change up and come from the front door.

If mom asked where I was, my sis was to tell that I was at the neighbor's place. The plan seemed fool proof to my 9 year old brain. Since mom had not seen me leaving the house, she would not realize which frock I had worn.

The plan would have been foolproof had the villain not arrived--- My father. Dad usually came in by 7. That day he came in by 6. When fates conspire, what could I, an ordinary little girl do?

So when my friends and sister went up the front door, my dad opened the door. I can't imagine what their expressions would have been... Flabbergasted??? I wish I had been there :) Now it seems funny... Then it was terrifying......

Their jaws must have dropped. Dad was surprised to see the entire army save one soldier at his front door it seems. While they kept my dad distracted, my ever smart mom(Like daughter- So mom :) ) was watchful. My little sister tried slipping inside the bedroom and picking a frock. She almost made it to the back door and opened the latch after ensuring the curtain that hid the back door was in place.

My mom must have followed her because, when my sister opened the door for me, my eyes popped out and my jaw dropped. Because, standing a distance behind my sister was my mom. And there I was wet from head to foot, frock soaking wet. My sister unaware of mom behind her little frame, said "Akka(Big Sister) put this on and handed the frock to me".

After my friends bade a hasty exit, All hell broke loose and I got the first whack of my life, on my bum. And the first long lecture that just went on and on and on. I promised I would never do something so foolish and never try to cover it up with my hair brained ideas.

I promised solemnly. And under my breath added never to get caught.... :)

But I was a good kid... A normal kid who played pranks.... But always the safe pranks thereafter, because I quite did not like the experience of swallowing all that weed filled slightly dirty water. And my mom kept scaring me that weeds were going to sprout out of my mouth and I was going to become a hairy monster.

Parents... I tell you.... They know how to scare the shit out of their kids. I used to wash my mouth several times a day for a week after until I chanced upon my parents laughing about it. I was relieved and joined in the laughter.

The good thing about this incident was - An enclosure was put around the pond for safety and to keep curious, inquisitive kids like us out.